I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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