So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
