my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
