He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
