i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
