If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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