Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
His hands were made for my vagina.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize