he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
