i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
