I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
