her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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