I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
