he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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