Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
