Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
where are my eyebrows?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
