You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How external is "for external use only"?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i black out too much to be "responsible"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
