You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I didn't shave. On purpose
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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