At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
