I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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