So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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