Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
