Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
