D3 body, D1 cock
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
