I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize