I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
