At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
