your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Randomize