Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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