what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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