Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
