am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
