it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
