also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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