I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
