he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
