You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
