i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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