so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
