I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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