she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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