based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
