lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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