i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I enjoy the company of your penis
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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