I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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