Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
