OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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