would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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