hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
