I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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