grandma shit on top of the toilet
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
