yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
only you would photoshop your dick
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
