Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
if i can run in heels then i can drive
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
