I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
