Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
