But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
