Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
