this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i drank out of a bidet.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
