Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
