He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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