i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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