i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
