Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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