SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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