Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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