just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
