he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
